Quantum Jumping

Quantum Jumping
The Quantum Jumping Box

Quantum Jumping.  The idea behind this several hundred dollar “course” is that we can learn to mentally jump into alternate universes and get advice and insight from more successful happier versions of ourselves in those alternate universes.  There’s so much wrong with this idea I barely know where to begin.

Firstly, I originally visited this website a while ago (link sent to me by an online friend) and back then it was just one of those standard, simple, mostly-white, long-scrolling, selling pages – the same template used by people selling DIY Solar Panels and One Weird Tip for Losing That Belly diets etc etc.  But today I saw a Facebook ad for it, remembered seeing it a while back, and visited it again only to see that the site has now been upgraded with fancy graphics and custom layout.  This suggests to me that the course is selling well and making money — how depressing that something so obviously full of hot air could actually make money.  Once again I find myself realising that I’m in the wrong business, or that I have too many scruples. Or both.

Secondly, what if it’s true?  What if there are multiple universes, many of which with alternate Skevs living in them?  Am I okay with the idea that there are potentially infinite numbers of universes, each with their own Skev, each more successful than me?  It’s cold comfort that there are presumably just as many or even more universes with worse-off Skevs.  Or already-dead Skevs.  Or never-existed Skevs.

Thirdly, what if I Quantum Jump to another universe to ask the fabulously successful, happy and wealthy Skevos that lives in that universe for advice, and he just tells me to “Get lost, loser!”?

Fourthly, what if I’m ALREADY living in the universe which has the Skevos that is maximally happy and successful — that is — me, what if this is as good as it can possibly get for me in all universes?  What a terrifying thought.

Fifthly, if Quantum Jumping is possible and I’m a relatively successful Skev, then I shall soon be constantly hassled by Quantum Jumping Loser-Skevs from other universes whining about their lives and asking for advice.  I reckon I’d tell them to get lost, bunch of losers.

Lastly, and depressingly, if Quantum Jumping IS possible, then the unavoidable fact is — not a single alternate Skev has ever Quantum Jumped into this universe to ask me for my advice.  This means I must be one of the least, if not the very least, successful Skevs out of all the infinite Skevs in all the infinite universes.

Yeesh.

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